Pain

Hello! Welcome to the blog I've neglected to continue sharing on. However, my perspective has changed so deeply in just four months that I am glad to be writing to you today as I share deep knowledge I have discovered through my pain. Please remember, all things written here today are from my perspective that I have gained through my experience.

A bit about me:

On September 23rd, I turned 21 years old. Some refer to this as your 3rd cell cycle, meaning each 7 years, our mind, body, and spirit reboots with new knowledge and recognition as we reflect on the last 7 years and all of the growth we have come too.

Since turning 21, I have seen a huge shift in me as I tackle the most pain I have ever been through in my life. 20 years old, was full of emotional turmoil to the point I was institutionalized twice from wanting to take my life. In most cases, sharing that with another person, let alone the internet, can be scary as others may shame me for it. If you ever need someone to talk to and my story resonates with you, you can find my email on this website, please reach out. Those experiences changed my life and taught me what I know now and I am grateful for the wisdom. 21 came with the recognition that my immune system is not working properly and I am still waiting to find out the label for whatever condition is causing my bad circulation and extreme aching in my legs. Along with other bodily symptoms, I didn't have an easy life leading up to that point, but in my opinion none of us do. I am learning today how easy and hard are illusions and any type of comparison is separation, another illusion, because we are all one. Mind, body, and spirit is all one thing and this I dedicate my life to sharing. This is the type of healing that was stolen from me in a mental health facility as it focused on my mind as a separate thing, never considering my body or spirit and as I grow and see my body face challenges and my spirit struggle along with it, I deeply know in my spirit that these are so connected, the health care system has much growth to endure.

Being institutionalized really helped me understand the system that has been built by the English language and American culture, along with being in the workforce and schooling system. I can only speak on my experiences and knowledge and I recognize English language is a leading force of seeing things in separation since we have words that literally separate and identify mind, body, and spirit as separate things. Just the fact, there are three different words that hypothetically label and explain pieces of a human being causes stagnation in being able to heal and get back to love. My observations see that the American system was built from the biblical religion of Christianity, Catholicism, etc. The bible teaches separation and keeps us in masculinity. Masculine and feminine are one and when separated, we see pain. If you don't know about masculine and feminine energy, I suggest reading about that so this makes more sense and In the future I will hopefully have a blog post on it.

I see things like this, duality is an illusion. There is not two parts opposing each other here on Earth, but rather two parts working together as one. We are in union. We are cycling together, but we are not in a circle. The cycle is to teach, to teach us how to get back to love and what love is. Since there is a lesson that pain teaches love and without pain there is no concept of love, I don't believe we are circling but rather going forward and backward simultaneously in order to keep love alive. Think about a tree, it's reaching and growing up, up, up, and it's roots are grounding down, down, down. Stretching at both ends, continuously. We are here for simply an experience and nothing more and it is through great pain, we can experience great love, and this is expansion, not a circle. If it was a circle, we wouldn't be going anywhere, but I have a deep feeling we are going somewhere and the down is necessary for the up to exist. I am using the word circle as a definite way of things and the word cycle as something we go through to understand. A cycle is presented to us in a patterned form in order to start stretching up and down. A cycle can show stagnation. So in my thoughts, we are not in a circle like the Buddhist philosophy, but rather experiencing cycles to purposely get back on track of stretching up and shrinking down, the down is to understand the up and the up is literal creation. The mother spirit and father spirit create this expansion. They form as one, combining to create, the child, the beginning of the cycle. There is pain and there is love. There is no such thing as wrong and right and we often perceive pain as wrong and love as right. Wrong and right are complete illusions and stop the progression of growth altogether. See right and wrong, or dark and light, do not leave room for each other and that is why I call them an illusion. Where there is pain, there is love- the force that continues a drive to live. Pain makes the force even stronger, the love even bigger, the spirit even wiser, and growth that expands consciousness further. Now this may sound confusing at first, but if you can find this in your perspective, you can let go. Think about this, abuse, outside abuse will either drive one to cause more abuse to themselves or others OR the person will find love inside themselves deep self love, compassion, and empathic understanding of others. This can also work backwards, when you love something so much and you lose it, the pain that comes with that can be labeled as unbearable, but here again we see the conclusion of letting go. Sometimes we are faced with a choice to let go and sometimes the universe forces that choice. A circle doesn't change, in my perspective, we are always changing and so we are not circling but moving in such a way there is no word to explain this, but you can feel it in your core being.

Many of us will go all our lives struggling with this concept and I am included. The rest will turn off feeling and so they will not question or expand, but rather cause pain to those that do, making them some of the biggest teachers and obstacles. Reminding us what pain can do if it is not transformed and challenging us to find love because we recognize those that cause pain, come from pain, and this recognition is the highest love.

Believe you have the power to bring on this awareness and pain will heal, at its own pace, remembering the timeline of the universe is different then the timeline we may desire or even understand. It is through consistent faith, love, forgiveness, and wisdom of mind, body, and spirit as one thing that we can achieve a life that is not pain free, but much more enjoyable and at peace. As our consciousness remembers we are one, we are filled with gratitude and joy to experience this illusionary separation and we are at peace remembering it is temporary. We will return together again. To remember this, while being in these separated physical bodies of existence is to know magic and the power of experiencing love on Earth. My spirit speaks and it tells me that all is connected and we are healers in unique forms. Although I do not agree with the American system or most societal ways, I deeply thank its part as it is teaching and bringing us closer to awareness of love and pain.

Thank you for reading! Bless your mind, body, spirit (your soul). Namaste.